Male-centered is also anti-woman

So, this is a point I’ve been trying to make in some discussions, but I haven’t been able to address it quite eloquently enough for anyone to be convinced, so I’m going to try and write a sufficiently clear post.

We live in a patriarchy, a society that revolves around white, heterosexual, wealthy males that are privileged in every way. These males are always the default human in all of society, like the law, the media and everyday conversation. If someone happens to be talking about person X, it is automatically assumed that they are straight, male, white, etcetera unless stated otherwise.

For society to keep revolving around these privileged dudes, a system of sufficient “Othering” is needed, that divides people up in two camps: the default humans, and the “Other”. It’s also always a dualistic system, so you get straight vs gay, male vs female, white vs black, rich vs poor etcetera. Notice how the default is always written/addressed first in most forms of communication(with activist writings being the obvious exception). The dualism is very obvious once you start to pay attention, and it’s very silly because things are never so strictly divided(you have bisexuals for example, and transpeople, etcetera).

Anyway, this dualistic othering has been going on for a long, long time and is the basis of our society. Our society is a male-centered(and white-centered, and hetero-centered, etcetera but I’m going to focus on male-centered for now) one and it is designed by and for men and built by and for men specifically. This is why female-only bodily functions are regarded as gross(in the case of menstruation) or weakness(in the case of heavy pms), instead of normal bodily functions. This is because the male body = default, and the female body = weird.

Because our system is built to cater to men and to benefit men specifically, all the progress in the world isn’t going to make it better for women, simply because the system is rigged to disadvantage them. As long as there’s still porn and advertising portraying women as nothing but decorations/three holes and 2 hands, women will never be regarded as human beings, because they will be regarded as nothing but fuckholes. As long as young girls still get the Disney/fashion model/”You’re so pretty!” messages of female=looks, women will never be taken seriously.

But for this to end we need a society that doesn’t focus on the “needs” and wants of men, but on that of all human beings. An entertainment industry that doesn’t portray women as mindless drones, as fuckbots, as decorations, as sexual manipulators, but as human beings.

We need a society that stops Othering women from men and stops the braindead femininity/masculinity dichotomy. Masculinity is ridiculous, and so is femininity. Neither of those traits are inherent to one sex, and they’re both damaging.
And in any community that focusses specifically on one group, the other group is bound to be ridiculed, marginalized and locked out. Thát is what explains the lesser participation of women in society, not some sort of “they used to look for berries and now they suck at math lol” evolutionary psychology bullshit.

Metaldudes, y u hate women?

So, the boyfriend and I visited Party San, a death- and black metal festival, then relaxed at a camping for 3 days, washed our clothes, and slept a lot, then we went to Summer Breeze which is a more diverse but still not very well-known metalfestival.

The thing is, I hadn’t noticed how much the heavy metalscene hates women before – but now that I’ve read radfem blogs and books, it’s so very obvious, it’s just crazy. Let me sum up some stuff I encountered at Party San

- Lots of misogynistic tshirts, for example, a shirt with the burger king logo that says “Rapist King” instead(with the slogan: bringing war back to women). I was trying to enjoy a Hail of Bullets(check them out, they’re pretty awesome anti-war death metal, Martin van Drunen is Dutch, his voice is awesome, and I haven’t caught them being anti-feminist(except being male-centered of course)) show when I spotted some asshole wearing that shirt. It pissed me off to no end, so I hardly even watched the band as I was thinking up ways I was gonna hurt him. After the show I walked up to him and asked him “Do you think this is funny?” He said “yes”, and was obviously not noticing that I hated it, he thought I was trying to flirt with him. I said “You think rape is funny? Would you think it was funny if your mom got raped? You’re a fucking retard, so fuck you.”(I know, I shouldn’t use the word retard but I was too angry to think).

-We went to see Byfrost first, which is a thrashy black metal band I guess(haven’t listened to it a lot, so sue me), and then he started a song with “Every metalman knows how this goes!”. Yes, metalMAN. While there were plenty of women in the audience. Later, when we went to Skeletonwitch, a band whose music I really enjoy, and he started the second song or so by saying “Let’s keep this son of a bitch going”(I hate that most “offensive to males” words just insult the dude’s mom). At the end, he decided to speak to the crowd by saying “Drink some beer!”(crowd cheers) “Smoke some weed!”(crowd cheers) and “EAT SOME FUCKING PUSSY”(and the crowd goes wild), and it was just so silly. While women are a minority at metalshows, they are far from non-existent and it is NOT a 1:99 ratio AT ALL. Either he just didn’t see any women(unlikely) and assumed(wrongly) that there weren’t any, or he just didn’t think the women in the crowd were worth addressing. That, or he thought all males in the crowd were straight and all females were gay(I doubt it).

- Woman-hating nicknames and bandnames, ex: Witchburner, Bitchhammer, Prostitute Disfigurement(I actually vandalized all their flyers I came across), Tom Angelripper, etcetera. My Nigel spotted a “Cock and Ball torture” shirt and I was kind of hoping it was a feminist alternative to all the women-tortured-and-murdered-bands, but no, they’re just a crappy pornogrind band that has songs like “Whoredom Sonata” and “Faggot Filter”. Another disappointment.

-I only spotted the infamous “Show your tits for X” signs(X mostly being beer) twice, but that was still two times too many. The first time, a guy actually shuffed a beer in my face and asked me to show my tits, while a woman was holding up the sign and smiling the smile of someone who plays along so she won’t get harassed herself. I flipped him off and he just laughed at me(this is important for the rest of the story), then loudly ridiculed me with his friends in German behind my back(they obviously didn’t know I wasn’t German, so it was totally meant to be harassment in my direction). Another time, I found a “Show your tits for Satan” sign lying around near our van, and while I love a good Satan-joke just as much as the next girl, I just don’t get why Lucifer seems so set on objectifying and dehumanizing women.

-Then there were the really annoying guys that had set up camp between our van and the toilets, so every time I had to piss, I had to walk past them. They sat right at the edge of the road, so everyone could be checked out and yelled at. At first, I thought they were doing it to just everyone that walked by, as my Nigel reported being yelled at too(but our German isn’t too awesome, at least we try to keep our understanding to a minimum). Then later, I walked by as they harassed a girl in taking a picture with them(though she seemed to consider it a compliment, but I’ll get to that in another post). When I walked back, one of them actually walked up to me, blocked my path and talked to me in German. I just said “Fuck off”, gave him a pissed off look and walked past him, and got loudly ridiculed in German(again!). But then, I’m 1.80 meters, which is as tall as the average Dutch dude(they’re the second-tallest dudes in the world!), whereas a Dutch woman is supposedly only 1.68 meters. Furthermore, I’m not fat but not skinny either, and a lot stronger than I look, and I did Judo for about, what, 8 years or so? I know I’m strong and I can take on most guys, so it’s easy for me to just walk past them and tell them to go fuck themselves, but I know there are plenty of women who fake a smile and hope they’ll leave her alone soon. That’s what pissed me off the most.

-Dudes touching me unneccessarily. For example, I’m just walking past, minding my own business(actually I’m not, I’m checking out every guy who’s close to me and considering the ways in which I could hurt him if he does something funny, but to him it looks as though I’m minding my own business), and some guy just grabs my arm or some shit. Some random guy, whom I’ve never ever in my entire life talked to or met or even seen. Then he gets all offended when I aggressively pull myself loose and tell him to go fuck himself. Of course, loud ridicule in German ensues. I just walk away, feeling unsafe.

-And of course, catcalling. Of course I have no idea what they’re saying since my mind automatically filters German(I hate that language so much I can’t even tell you), but I know it’s offensive because of the intonation and the laughter that usually follows if you ignore it, laugh at them, say something back, yell, flip them off or joke about it.

So, I’ve pretty much determined at the end of Party San that ignoring, cursing, or flipping them off isn’t going to accomplish a whole lot. I am then reminded of this post at I Blame The Patriarchy, where some women suggest outwitting the guys in question(which won’t work in Germany, dudes there only speak German. For real. We had neighbours at Summer Breeze, there were like 6 of them, and only one could speak even a little English. He was also the only one who could UNDERSTAND it. Not just speak, no, the others didn’t get me when I said “What bands did you come to see?”), other suggest punching them in the face(but I think violence is often stupid). My thoughts jumped to this post at Rage Against The Manchine, which suggests damaging the asshole in any possible way.

All this in mind, I’m just chilling out at the old-people camping in Dinkelsbühl, minding my own business(except falling in love with our neighbour’s dog), when I’m changing pants in the van, this guy walks by, stares into the van(they were all staring into our van, and I admit it’s rather pretty), sees I’m in my underwear and KEEPS FUCKING STARING. Just totally checking me out. Creepy old guy, fuck you.

So, on to Summer Breeze. I’ll just keep it to the highlights, since telling you about EVERYTHING anti-woman I saw would just be too long to type.

-Me and boyfriend were sitting on a bench in the BierGarten, just talking and having drinks, when we notice some (dutch!)guys taking pictures with girls. According to boyfriend, this first girl we saw obviously didn’t want to go on the picture, but did it anyway(I didn’t see this). Then, we notice them checking out a girl, with her back their way in hotpants, talking to a guy and obviously just enjoying herself. Their response is to have one guy secretly pose next to her, then two(!) other guys taking pictures, then they all laugh loudly and ridicule her. This already got me pretty worked up and it even pissed off boyfriend, but I just wanted to have a good time so I didn’t say anything(I probably should’ve). He then went off to go to the bathroom, and laughed and said “I’m going to laugh my ass off if I get back, and they tried to pull that shit on you and you showed them hell.”(he’s totally a Nostradamus, I tell you). So, he’s gone for, what, 2 minutes, and one of the guys “casually” sits next to me, without talking to me or even making eye-contact, then makes a “thumb-up” gesture towards his friends. I turn to him and say(in Dutch)”No, you’re not going to take a picture of me.”. He’s obviously startled that I’m Dutch so he can’t pull the “No comprendo”stunt on me, so he points at the photographer and says “You have to tell him that.”, a pretty cowardly move, but alright, I turn to the photoguy and tell him “No, you’re not going to take a picture of me.”. By then, my voice is shaking, my face is flushed and I look at him like I want to kill something, because I’m so fucking angry. His response? He laughs at me. I stand up and try to threaten him by walking towards him. His response? More laughter, as if this is the funniest thing I could have done. My response? I try to punch him in the face. He ducks, I follow and kick his ass(some other guy comes up behind me and pushes me, but by then I’ve made my point and return to my bench). They go all “OH BITCH YOU CRAZY YOU CRAZY” on me, but I just calmly say I didn’t want them to take my picture. “WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY SO IN A NORMAL WAY”. I did. Twice. “WE COULDNT HEAR YOU”, yes you could, you can hear me now, I’m not any closer than I was before, if you didn’t hear me my reaction was obvious, my body language couldn’t have been clearer, the guy next to me heard me, and you DIDNT FUCKING ASK IF YOU COULD TAKE MY FUCKING PICTURE YOU ASSHOLE.
Awkward silence. So then boyfriend returns and asks me what’s wrong. Cue for photoguy to assure him “Niks aan de hand”(nothing big), read: “Oh man, your woman is just being crazy and hysterical like women get sometimes you know”. Luckily, boyfriend appreciates me as a person and not as a stereotype, so he asks me what happened. After I give him the summary, he flips photoguy off, and tells him he’s a fucking loser.
You know, the worst is those guys KNEW it wasn’t okay, or else they wouldn’t have fucking waited until boyfriend left. Luckily, after that I spotted them a few more times, but no more photocameras and none of them dared to get near me, haha. I like to think that I caused them to question their actions, but I doubt it.

-Random guys touch me for no good reason(not in the pit, just when I walk by at a significant distance they grab me or something), and I push them away violently, telling them to fuck off and threatening them with a fist.

-One band was promoting their new album, with two commercials: One in which a woman dies, one in which a dude dies(I think?). The difference? The dude is walking around and gets hit on the head and dragged off. No one laughs. The girl is gagged, bound, crying and bleeding and explodes into a shitload of blood. A wave of laughter rises up from the people around me. What the fuck is wrong with you?

-The last night of SummerBreeze, boyfriend and I are walking back from the festivalterrain to our van, I squeeze past some guys with him right behind me, when one of the guys slaps my ass. I can’t remember clearly what I did because I was so angry, but according to boyfriend I turned around faster than he could even realize, punched the dude in the face, when he tried to run away grabbed his hair and tshirt, spun him around, then rose my leg to kick him when boyfriend stopped me and said “I think he’s got the point”. The guy then walked up to me(assumedly to apologize or something), but when I raised my fist at him he quickly ran away.

Conclusion? Violence is the best fucking way to get guys to stop harassing you. Women are raised to ignore assholes, just walk away, but that eats away at your self-esteem(with them ridiculing you) and leaves you feeling unsafe(knowing you’ll run into them again tomorrow). After analyzing this, I’ve come to think that maybe you have to respond as a man would, to be taken seriously as a human being for those guys. Guys don’t slap an unknown dude on the ass because a) other guys are not the sexclass and b)slapping other guys creates a big chance of getting punched in the face.
Acting like a dude earns you respect in dude-country, which is sad, but if I can use that knowledge to keep them off of me, I will.

Also, I’ve been thinking, those “Show us your tits” signs don’t work, and the guys making them probably know that damn well. So why would they go through the trouble if they’re not actually seeing boobs? Maybe because they consider it fun to just ask women to show them their boobs, they consider it fun to sexually harass women. That was a big realization for me. It might even be an unconscious “I know you chicks are allowed at metalconcerts, but at least I can remind you that you’re a part of the sexclass and only here for our entertainment, not to enjoy yourself”.

Anyway, this was far from EVERYTHING sexist I encountered, but it’s enough to prove my point.

I’ll try to write a more coherent post next time.

Male programmer privilege checklist

This male privilege checklist is aimed specifically at male programmers; clicking the links in it will direct you to appalling examples of sexism in the open source community.

For any female working in computer science, specifically as a coder, most items in this list will not strike you as exceptional.

Let me address a couple that really hit home with me personally:

“The freedom to do your job without anyone insinuating that you only got hired because of affirmative action or “quotas”, or because of the anatomy you happen to possess.”

While this hasn’t happened to me(yet) since I’m still an undergraduate, this is the problem quotas present: While it may lead to an increase of women in top positions, it also leads to women not being taken seriously and being accused of not getting there by their own skills and hard work.
It may be true that these quotas are the only thing that can break or at least push some women through the glass ceiling, the bigger part of our society will only ridicule women in top positions more, suggesting that if she didn’t “sleep her way up”, she’s only there because of quotas, not because of her competence. This won’t make her job easier, and make it even harder to prove herself. Of course quotas will be unnecessary after the revolution, but in the meantime I’m still unsure on the issue(opinions are welcome though!).

“The freedom to make mistakes or say stupid things without worrying about it getting added to the pile of “why women suck at computer stuff”.”

This is the reason why, when people talk about things I know nothing/little about, I just shut up, and I don’t ask questions. Usually, when I get home I google the subject at hand, but I could’ve learnt so much more by just asking, but I don’t because I’m afraid of ruining other female-coder’s reputation, because everything negative a woman does anywhere affects people’s thoughts of women in general.
Also, check out this gem. This guy actually arguments that there are few woman programmers, therefore women(as a class) are worse at programming than men. Why? Because if women were good at programming, there would be more female programmers -headdesk-. The lack of female programmers obviously has nothing to do with male-centered hiring tactics and women’s oppression and the patriarchy in general.

“The freedom to attend a technical conference without fear of sexual assault.”

This one is probably more recognizable for non-programmer women, because sexual assault is well, everywhere. Still it’s worth mentioning that even in the unsexy world of computer science, females get harassed for being there.

“Attending a technical talk without people assuming that you’re only there because your boyfriend dragged you along with him.”

This one applies for me, not so much in computer science but in the heavy metal scene(which is somewhat unrelated to this post), some guy comes to talk to you and asks if you’re there with your boyfriend(“Yes, I dragged him along”), or tries to “save” you from the moshpit(“I jumped in voluntarily, I like to blow off steam this way”) or tells you how awesome it is to have a woman in the pit(“The fact that I have a vagina does not mean I cannot kick your face in, you stupid sexist turd”).

Moving on.

“Knowing that if you attend a professional conference, there will be a restroom you can use.”

Check out the link with this one, apparently there was a con where they changed the women’s restroom to a men’s restroom. I understand not wanting to wait in line, but couldn’t they have made them ungendered? It must be awkward to clearly be SO unexpected there.

“Not having to think about what gender you are”

This goes for any woman, anywhere, so just for emphasis.

“Walking home unafraid after a late-night coding spree.”

You can obviously replace “late-night coding spree” with anything that goes on after dark and this applies to every woman’s experience, again.

“The freedom to listen to speakers say that software should be so easy to use that even your mom could use it without wondering whether they have you in mind.”

THIS. I talked about this with a guy I know from uni, and he just didn’t get what the problem was, you know, since women are generally worse at computer stuff. It’s just a “figure of speech”, not harmful at all. auyughvbdjewhgfy.
Not to mention the “girlfriend experiment”:
“One way to measure [Ubuntu] usability is to sit your girlfriend in front of a Linux desktop and see what problems she encounters trying to do some normal desktop tasks.”
This is SO arrogant I just CANNOT believe it. Like your girlfriend is some kind of moron who cannot determine easy desktop functions when they’re a little different from the Windows interface. GAH. I’m actually the one who fixes my Nigel’s laptop around here, because you know, sometimes women are better at computerstuff.

“The expectation that if you say you are a programmer, people will believe you.”

This has happened to me and multiple female-programmers I know. Because, you know, programming is for guys. Shouldn’t we be studying educational theory or something? Something we can use when we’re at home having kids?

“The freedom to discuss the role of gender in programming without people thinking you’re being (a) self-serving, (b) whiny, (c) bringing politics into realms where it’s not relevant, or (d) all of the above.”

THIS SO MUCH. I cannot count the number of times I have swallowed shit to prevent being labeled a “whiny feminist bitch”, which label would make it harder for me to find a decent job in the male-dominated world of computer science.

“The privilege of being able to deny the existence of your own privilege as a male programmer.”

They’re doing it. 99% of them. It stings.

Femisapien accurately reflects society’s idea of a woman

Please watch the video first.

This robot is called a femisapien, and is consistently referred to as “she” and “her” throughout the review video. According to the WowWee Website(what kind of a name is that?), femisapien is definitely a “she” with “her” own language called – wait for it – “Emotish”! Of course! Even female robots are way more emotional than their male counterparts.

Some “highlights”, straight from the website:

“In Attentive Mode, RS Femisapien interacts directly with you. She will slow pose, be your back-up singer, introduce herself, dance with you, and even blow kisses.”

English is not my native language, so I had to double-check if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. From thefreedictionary.org:

“at·ten·tive (-tntv)
adj.
1. Giving care or attention; watchful: attentive to detail.
2. Marked by or offering devoted and assiduous attention to the pleasure or comfort of others. See Synonyms at thoughtful.
3. Expressing affectionate interest through close observation and gallant gestures”

Of course a robot that’s supposed to represent women has to have an attentive-mode. Women are, after all, only on this earth to care for the needs of their masters.

Not only is this mode insulting just by its name, it gets even better: “She will slow pose”, which as we see in the movie means acting like a mannequin, pretending to be a fashion model. Being a woman is all about fashion! Every girl wants to be a model, even girlbots!

She can also do all kinds of other empowering things, like being your back-up singer, dance with you(of course, you’re leading, women can’t lead anything, not even dances, nonono) and last but not least: give you kisses! I’ve never heard of a Nao giving you kisses, but that’s obviously because Nao is a robot that represents the default human: men. Part of any woman’s taskset is giving physical affection, even if that woman happens to be a robot.

“In Learning Mode, teach RS Femisapien a sequence of movements that she can perform for you, up to 80 steps long! RS Femisapien is also pre-programmed with a number of precise functions and sounds that can be used as part of her program routine, including striking poses, holding and presenting thin objects such as business cards and blowing kisses!”

Oh, good, femisapien can learn stuff! What can she learn? Can she learn how to kick a ball, how to navigate through a maze, or how to calculate stuff for you? Oh, wait, no. She can learn dances. Silly me, thinking that women can a) do sports, b) navigate or c)do maths. Apparently, the disease of being female even turns robots into morons.

When you teach her a new dance, you can tell her to act like a fashion model or give you a kiss as part of her dance routine. Why didn’t they call her Stripperbot from the beginning?

When checking out her details, I spotted this:

“RS Femisapien can communicate with, and even control, other WowWee robots, including the original Robosapien™!”

Check out Robosapien here.
Robosapien is supposed to be a male robot, but hasn’t been called MascuSapien or something, because as we all know, men are default humans, so no need to emphasize their gender.
When you look at Robosapien’s features, the sexism becomes so clear that it will hurt your eyes(assuming the sexism spotted so far hadn’t already blinded you).

“67 pre-programmed functions: pick-up, throw, kick, dance, kung-fu, fart, belch, rap and more; 3 demonstration modes”

Robosapien farts and belches, something Femisapien doesn’t do, because, you know, women don’t have digestive functions.
He can also do “6 different kung-fu moves”, which is emphasized, but dancing is apparently not his most important function.

Oh and Robosapien doesn’t speak “emotish”. He speaks “fluent international “caveman” speech”.
Because emotions are for fembots!

At the end of the video, you can see Robosapien en Femisapien “talking”, but as we all know, Femisapiens are from Venus, where they speak “emotish” and Robosapiens are from Mars, where they speak “fluent international cavemen speech”,so the maker included his own interpretation of a “typical” couples fight. Robosapien has to sleep on the couch. How witty.

Robots are neat-o, but not when they support and reinforce stupid gender roles.

First computer programmers were girls

Check out this sweet proof of what radical feminists have been saying for years!

From the article:

“However, says Ensmenger, the presence of these women did not indicate that managers of the ENIAC project had modern attitudes toward women in the workforce. Rather, managers hired women because they expected programming to be a low-skill clerical function, akin to filing, typing, or telephone switching. Assuming that the real “brain work” in electronic computing would be limited to the hardware side, managers reserved these tasks for male engineers.”

Of course when they found out that programming is, you know, hard, male supremacy decided that it was a man’s job to do programming, and the fact that women had been doing it for years without problems didn’t change their decision to phase women out of computer science.

“[...]new hiring tools—including tools that were seemingly objective—had the unintended result of making the programming profession harder for women to enter. Eager to indentify talented individuals to train as computer programmers, employers relied on aptitude tests to make hiring decisions. With their focus on mathematical puzzle-solving, the tests may have favored men, who were more likely to take math classes in school. More critically, the tests were widely compromised and their answers were available for study through all-male networks such as college fraternities and Elks lodges.”

Apparently, this was also when the personality for programmers was invented – you know, the one that employers still use to discriminate between people at job interviews. The personality test was set up to favor men, by means of hiring people who had a “disinterest in people” and disliked “activities involving close personal interaction”. This stereotype reinforces itself over and over, through depictions in the media and also through employers still looking to hire people who fit this description. This results in more and more people(especially women), who would be perfectly fit to be computer scientists, turning away from the field, thinking they’re not the right type.

If the computer science field is genuine in their concerns about the lack of girls in computer science studies, they might have to re-think their recruiting strategy to include people of “deviant” personalities, so that any girl that likes spending time with people isn’t scared off.